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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Funny
Doe
Women
Men
Life
Classic
Fate
Control

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
Groucho Marx
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If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
Groucho Marx
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
Groucho Marx
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
Groucho Marx
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho Marx
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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
Groucho Marx
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To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.
Groucho Marx
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Women should be obscene, not heard.
Groucho Marx
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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
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Humor is reason gone mad.
Groucho Marx
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Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Groucho Marx
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
Groucho Marx
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx
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What have future generations ever done for us?
Groucho Marx
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx