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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Fate
Control
Funny
Doe
Women
Men
Life
Classic
More quotes by Groucho Marx
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Groucho Marx
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx
You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
Groucho Marx
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Groucho Marx
Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
Groucho Marx
Only if the computers really love each other.
Groucho Marx
I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
Groucho Marx
If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
Groucho Marx
I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
Groucho Marx
Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Groucho Marx
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx
You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
Groucho Marx
If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
Groucho Marx
Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Groucho Marx
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx
Humor is reason gone mad.
Groucho Marx
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
Groucho Marx