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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Life
Classic
Fate
Control
Funny
Doe
Women
Men
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
Groucho Marx
The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Groucho Marx
Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
Groucho Marx
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Groucho Marx
Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
Groucho Marx
There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
Groucho Marx
If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
Groucho Marx
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
Groucho Marx
Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
Groucho Marx
When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Groucho Marx
Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
Groucho Marx
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx
She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
Groucho Marx
Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
Groucho Marx