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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Anyone
Innuendo
Funny
Witty
Women
Silly
Drinking
Laughter
Missing
Says
Crazy

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
Groucho Marx
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx
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Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Groucho Marx
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
Groucho Marx
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You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
Groucho Marx
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Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
Groucho Marx
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All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Groucho Marx
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Groucho Marx
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Groucho Marx
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I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
Groucho Marx
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
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Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Groucho Marx
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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Groucho Marx
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A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
Groucho Marx