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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Life
Comedian
Humorous
Clubs
Membership
Refuse
Joining
Members
Join
Humor
Member
Funny
Club
Would
Witty

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
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You're only as young as the woman you feel.
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I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
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All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
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My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
Groucho Marx
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Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
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Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
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What have future generations ever done for us?
Groucho Marx
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Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.
Groucho Marx
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
Groucho Marx
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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
Groucho Marx
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
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How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
Groucho Marx
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I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
Groucho Marx
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Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx
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I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
Groucho Marx