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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Clubs
Membership
Refuse
Joining
Members
Join
Humor
Member
Funny
Club
Would
Witty
Life
Comedian
Humorous

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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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I hate London when it's not raining.
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I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
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My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
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I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
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Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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Time wounds all heels.
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Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
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