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I work for a few at home who are devoted. People who are up now. Either they have some sort of bladder problem or they're extremely drunk. This is my crowd, these are the people I hope to get.
Greg Proops
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Greg Proops
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 3
Actor
Film Actor
Improviser
Podcaster
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Phoenix
Arizona
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Extremely
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More quotes by Greg Proops
White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.
Greg Proops
You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.
Greg Proops
Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'
Greg Proops
I see guys dressing like they're in college - and they're not. I don't want to be that guy.
Greg Proops
I did stand up first in high school, joined an improv group in college, kept doing stand up after that, no one could deter me. And I have no other skills really, so I'm sorta stuck with this now. It's a little late to switch over to an ornithologist.
Greg Proops
President Clinton celebrates the first casual Friday at the white house by wearing leather chaps.
Greg Proops
Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.
Greg Proops
I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.
Greg Proops
In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.
Greg Proops
We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.
Greg Proops
If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.
Greg Proops
Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.
Greg Proops
Let me tell you about Australia. It's really, really, really, far from wherever you live on Earth. You fly and you fly and you fly. Then relativity takes over and you get younger and younger. And when you land, you're a gleam in your father's eye.
Greg Proops
If you want to live in 'white world,' if you want to experience the stultifying boredom and penetrating ennui that homogeneity can bring, you can go to Canada any day of the year. It's an entire country named Doug.
Greg Proops
You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!
Greg Proops
I think if you steal well, you're a genius. If you copy badly, you're a hack.
Greg Proops
I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.
Greg Proops
Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.
Greg Proops
Animals have two vital functions in today's society to be delicious and to fit well.
Greg Proops
I wear glasses. That's how you'll know me. I am the speccy one.... And I am proud.
Greg Proops