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We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.

Greg Proops

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Greg Proops
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 3
Actor
Film Actor
Improviser
Podcaster
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Phoenix
Arizona
Guy
Face
American
Faces
History
Scottish
Anything
Painted
Somehow
Blue

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President Clinton celebrates the first casual Friday at the white house by wearing leather chaps.
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I'm old and my knowledge is strictly horizontal.
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You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.
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You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!
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Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.
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You're in a bar - grow up. You're drinking poison. You're trying to have sex unsafely with someone you don't know. Is secondhand smoke really the chiefest of your health concerns at this point?
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My feeling is, we ran from animals for three million years. It's our time now. If a cow could eat you, it would. And it wouldn't care how comfortable your truck ride over was, either.
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In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.
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I think if you steal well, you're a genius. If you copy badly, you're a hack.
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I work for a few at home who are devoted. People who are up now. Either they have some sort of bladder problem or they're extremely drunk. This is my crowd, these are the people I hope to get.
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If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.
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I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.
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I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and gosh darn it, tonight I'm the king of the... general area.
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I'm all for dropping lawyers into any war time situation.
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White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.
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Glasses are for the brave. I do not need to pretend that I am sighted. People who need glasses and don't wear them are slightly less treacherous than people who don't need them and do-like every shallow Hollywood star who wants to be taken seriously.
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People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.
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Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.
Greg Proops
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Think about everything you read and everything you see. The one thing we can learn from all the horrible things that have happened in the last 15-20 years is that hysteria is the last thing we need. Cool thinking, pragmatism, and analytical thought are most important at this point.
Greg Proops
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Let me tell you about Australia. It's really, really, really, far from wherever you live on Earth. You fly and you fly and you fly. Then relativity takes over and you get younger and younger. And when you land, you're a gleam in your father's eye.
Greg Proops