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In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.
Greg Proops
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Greg Proops
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 3
Actor
Film Actor
Improviser
Podcaster
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Phoenix
Arizona
Puns
Pun
Highest
Comedy
Beautiful
Form
World
More quotes by Greg Proops
You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.
Greg Proops
I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and gosh darn it, tonight I'm the king of the... general area.
Greg Proops
You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!
Greg Proops
I think if you steal well, you're a genius. If you copy badly, you're a hack.
Greg Proops
Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.
Greg Proops
I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.
Greg Proops
I see guys dressing like they're in college - and they're not. I don't want to be that guy.
Greg Proops
We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.
Greg Proops
You're in a bar - grow up. You're drinking poison. You're trying to have sex unsafely with someone you don't know. Is secondhand smoke really the chiefest of your health concerns at this point?
Greg Proops
I'm all for dropping lawyers into any war time situation.
Greg Proops
People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.
Greg Proops
Think about everything you read and everything you see. The one thing we can learn from all the horrible things that have happened in the last 15-20 years is that hysteria is the last thing we need. Cool thinking, pragmatism, and analytical thought are most important at this point.
Greg Proops
Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.
Greg Proops
Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.
Greg Proops
I did stand up first in high school, joined an improv group in college, kept doing stand up after that, no one could deter me. And I have no other skills really, so I'm sorta stuck with this now. It's a little late to switch over to an ornithologist.
Greg Proops
Arizona changes its state motto to Damn, it's hot.
Greg Proops
President Clinton celebrates the first casual Friday at the white house by wearing leather chaps.
Greg Proops
If you want to live in 'white world,' if you want to experience the stultifying boredom and penetrating ennui that homogeneity can bring, you can go to Canada any day of the year. It's an entire country named Doug.
Greg Proops
If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.
Greg Proops
Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.
Greg Proops