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White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.

Greg Proops

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Greg Proops
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 3
Actor
Film Actor
Improviser
Podcaster
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Phoenix
Arizona
Never
Cream
Worn
Ice
Pants
Occasions
Selling
White
Two

More quotes by Greg Proops

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President Clinton celebrates the first casual Friday at the white house by wearing leather chaps.
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Let me tell you about Australia. It's really, really, really, far from wherever you live on Earth. You fly and you fly and you fly. Then relativity takes over and you get younger and younger. And when you land, you're a gleam in your father's eye.
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Animals have two vital functions in today's society to be delicious and to fit well.
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Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.
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Think about everything you read and everything you see. The one thing we can learn from all the horrible things that have happened in the last 15-20 years is that hysteria is the last thing we need. Cool thinking, pragmatism, and analytical thought are most important at this point.
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You're in a bar - grow up. You're drinking poison. You're trying to have sex unsafely with someone you don't know. Is secondhand smoke really the chiefest of your health concerns at this point?
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Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'
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You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!
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You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.
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Arizona changes its state motto to Damn, it's hot.
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I just feel like history is very much alive and important and I don't, you know, I can't worry about whether people get it or not, per se.
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People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.
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I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and gosh darn it, tonight I'm the king of the... general area.
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My feeling is, we ran from animals for three million years. It's our time now. If a cow could eat you, it would. And it wouldn't care how comfortable your truck ride over was, either.
Greg Proops
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Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.
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I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.
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Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.
Greg Proops
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I did stand up first in high school, joined an improv group in college, kept doing stand up after that, no one could deter me. And I have no other skills really, so I'm sorta stuck with this now. It's a little late to switch over to an ornithologist.
Greg Proops
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Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.
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In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.
Greg Proops