Quote

You're in a bar - grow up. You're drinking poison. You're trying to have sex unsafely with someone you don't know. Is secondhand smoke really the chiefest of your health concerns at this point?

Greg Proops

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Greg Proops
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 3
Actor
Film Actor
Improviser
Podcaster
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Phoenix
Arizona
Trying
Drinking
Really
Concern
Chiefest
Sex
Secondhand
Health
Concerns
Grow
Poison
Grows
Smoking
Point
Bars
Someone
Smoke

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Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.
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Let me tell you about Australia. It's really, really, really, far from wherever you live on Earth. You fly and you fly and you fly. Then relativity takes over and you get younger and younger. And when you land, you're a gleam in your father's eye.
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I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and gosh darn it, tonight I'm the king of the... general area.
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Arizona changes its state motto to Damn, it's hot.
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White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.
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I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.
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You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.
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I did stand up first in high school, joined an improv group in college, kept doing stand up after that, no one could deter me. And I have no other skills really, so I'm sorta stuck with this now. It's a little late to switch over to an ornithologist.
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People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.
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Glasses are for the brave. I do not need to pretend that I am sighted. People who need glasses and don't wear them are slightly less treacherous than people who don't need them and do-like every shallow Hollywood star who wants to be taken seriously.
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You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!
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I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.
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I'm all for dropping lawyers into any war time situation.
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Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'
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Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.
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If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.
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Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.
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If you want to live in 'white world,' if you want to experience the stultifying boredom and penetrating ennui that homogeneity can bring, you can go to Canada any day of the year. It's an entire country named Doug.
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In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.
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