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I'm all for dropping lawyers into any war time situation.

Greg Proops

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Greg Proops
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 3
Actor
Film Actor
Improviser
Podcaster
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Phoenix
Arizona
Situation
War
Time
Lawyers
Dropping
Lawyer

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I did stand up first in high school, joined an improv group in college, kept doing stand up after that, no one could deter me. And I have no other skills really, so I'm sorta stuck with this now. It's a little late to switch over to an ornithologist.
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Glasses are for the brave. I do not need to pretend that I am sighted. People who need glasses and don't wear them are slightly less treacherous than people who don't need them and do-like every shallow Hollywood star who wants to be taken seriously.
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I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and gosh darn it, tonight I'm the king of the... general area.
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President Clinton celebrates the first casual Friday at the white house by wearing leather chaps.
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White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.
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If you want to live in 'white world,' if you want to experience the stultifying boredom and penetrating ennui that homogeneity can bring, you can go to Canada any day of the year. It's an entire country named Doug.
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Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.
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I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.
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I work for a few at home who are devoted. People who are up now. Either they have some sort of bladder problem or they're extremely drunk. This is my crowd, these are the people I hope to get.
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Let me tell you about Australia. It's really, really, really, far from wherever you live on Earth. You fly and you fly and you fly. Then relativity takes over and you get younger and younger. And when you land, you're a gleam in your father's eye.
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Arizona changes its state motto to Damn, it's hot.
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Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'
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Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.
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Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.
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I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.
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In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.
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Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.
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Animals have two vital functions in today's society to be delicious and to fit well.
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People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.
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I'm old and my knowledge is strictly horizontal.
Greg Proops