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Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.
Greg Proops
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Greg Proops
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 3
Actor
Film Actor
Improviser
Podcaster
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Phoenix
Arizona
Gilbert
Gentlemen
Ladies
Gentleman
More quotes by Greg Proops
We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.
Greg Proops
Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'
Greg Proops
I see guys dressing like they're in college - and they're not. I don't want to be that guy.
Greg Proops
If you want to live in 'white world,' if you want to experience the stultifying boredom and penetrating ennui that homogeneity can bring, you can go to Canada any day of the year. It's an entire country named Doug.
Greg Proops
Think about everything you read and everything you see. The one thing we can learn from all the horrible things that have happened in the last 15-20 years is that hysteria is the last thing we need. Cool thinking, pragmatism, and analytical thought are most important at this point.
Greg Proops
Let me tell you about Australia. It's really, really, really, far from wherever you live on Earth. You fly and you fly and you fly. Then relativity takes over and you get younger and younger. And when you land, you're a gleam in your father's eye.
Greg Proops
White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.
Greg Proops
I just feel like history is very much alive and important and I don't, you know, I can't worry about whether people get it or not, per se.
Greg Proops
If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.
Greg Proops
I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.
Greg Proops
In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.
Greg Proops
I think if you steal well, you're a genius. If you copy badly, you're a hack.
Greg Proops
I'm old and my knowledge is strictly horizontal.
Greg Proops
I wear glasses. That's how you'll know me. I am the speccy one.... And I am proud.
Greg Proops
People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.
Greg Proops
Arizona changes its state motto to Damn, it's hot.
Greg Proops
You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!
Greg Proops
Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.
Greg Proops
Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.
Greg Proops
Animals have two vital functions in today's society to be delicious and to fit well.
Greg Proops