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Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.

Greg Proops

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Greg Proops
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 3
Actor
Film Actor
Improviser
Podcaster
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Phoenix
Arizona
Gentleman
Gilbert
Gentlemen
Ladies

More quotes by Greg Proops

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Let me tell you about Australia. It's really, really, really, far from wherever you live on Earth. You fly and you fly and you fly. Then relativity takes over and you get younger and younger. And when you land, you're a gleam in your father's eye.
Greg Proops
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I did stand up first in high school, joined an improv group in college, kept doing stand up after that, no one could deter me. And I have no other skills really, so I'm sorta stuck with this now. It's a little late to switch over to an ornithologist.
Greg Proops
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People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.
Greg Proops
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Arizona changes its state motto to Damn, it's hot.
Greg Proops
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I just feel like history is very much alive and important and I don't, you know, I can't worry about whether people get it or not, per se.
Greg Proops
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Glasses are for the brave. I do not need to pretend that I am sighted. People who need glasses and don't wear them are slightly less treacherous than people who don't need them and do-like every shallow Hollywood star who wants to be taken seriously.
Greg Proops
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I think if you steal well, you're a genius. If you copy badly, you're a hack.
Greg Proops
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If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.
Greg Proops
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If you want to live in 'white world,' if you want to experience the stultifying boredom and penetrating ennui that homogeneity can bring, you can go to Canada any day of the year. It's an entire country named Doug.
Greg Proops
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You're in a bar - grow up. You're drinking poison. You're trying to have sex unsafely with someone you don't know. Is secondhand smoke really the chiefest of your health concerns at this point?
Greg Proops
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I see guys dressing like they're in college - and they're not. I don't want to be that guy.
Greg Proops
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Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'
Greg Proops
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I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and gosh darn it, tonight I'm the king of the... general area.
Greg Proops
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I'm old and my knowledge is strictly horizontal.
Greg Proops
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We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.
Greg Proops
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President Clinton celebrates the first casual Friday at the white house by wearing leather chaps.
Greg Proops
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You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.
Greg Proops
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I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.
Greg Proops
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In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.
Greg Proops
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Think about everything you read and everything you see. The one thing we can learn from all the horrible things that have happened in the last 15-20 years is that hysteria is the last thing we need. Cool thinking, pragmatism, and analytical thought are most important at this point.
Greg Proops