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You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.

Greg Proops

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Greg Proops
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 3
Actor
Film Actor
Improviser
Podcaster
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Phoenix
Arizona
Restaurants
Smoke
Breathe
Consider
Outside
Mildly
Fact
Restaurant
Facts
Angeles
Ironic

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I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.
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If you want to live in 'white world,' if you want to experience the stultifying boredom and penetrating ennui that homogeneity can bring, you can go to Canada any day of the year. It's an entire country named Doug.
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Animals have two vital functions in today's society to be delicious and to fit well.
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Arizona changes its state motto to Damn, it's hot.
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I work for a few at home who are devoted. People who are up now. Either they have some sort of bladder problem or they're extremely drunk. This is my crowd, these are the people I hope to get.
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We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.
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You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!
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I'm old and my knowledge is strictly horizontal.
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Let me tell you about Australia. It's really, really, really, far from wherever you live on Earth. You fly and you fly and you fly. Then relativity takes over and you get younger and younger. And when you land, you're a gleam in your father's eye.
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President Clinton celebrates the first casual Friday at the white house by wearing leather chaps.
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Think about everything you read and everything you see. The one thing we can learn from all the horrible things that have happened in the last 15-20 years is that hysteria is the last thing we need. Cool thinking, pragmatism, and analytical thought are most important at this point.
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In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.
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Glasses are for the brave. I do not need to pretend that I am sighted. People who need glasses and don't wear them are slightly less treacherous than people who don't need them and do-like every shallow Hollywood star who wants to be taken seriously.
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Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.
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I wear glasses. That's how you'll know me. I am the speccy one.... And I am proud.
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You're in a bar - grow up. You're drinking poison. You're trying to have sex unsafely with someone you don't know. Is secondhand smoke really the chiefest of your health concerns at this point?
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I see guys dressing like they're in college - and they're not. I don't want to be that guy.
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People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.
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Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'
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Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.
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