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Animals have two vital functions in today's society to be delicious and to fit well.

Greg Proops

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Greg Proops
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 3
Actor
Film Actor
Improviser
Podcaster
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Phoenix
Arizona
Animals
Function
Animal
Society
Two
Functions
Today
Delicious
Wells
Vital
Well
Fit

More quotes by Greg Proops

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You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.
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You're in a bar - grow up. You're drinking poison. You're trying to have sex unsafely with someone you don't know. Is secondhand smoke really the chiefest of your health concerns at this point?
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People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.
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I did stand up first in high school, joined an improv group in college, kept doing stand up after that, no one could deter me. And I have no other skills really, so I'm sorta stuck with this now. It's a little late to switch over to an ornithologist.
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I think if you steal well, you're a genius. If you copy badly, you're a hack.
Greg Proops
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Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.
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Glasses are for the brave. I do not need to pretend that I am sighted. People who need glasses and don't wear them are slightly less treacherous than people who don't need them and do-like every shallow Hollywood star who wants to be taken seriously.
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I just feel like history is very much alive and important and I don't, you know, I can't worry about whether people get it or not, per se.
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We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.
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I see guys dressing like they're in college - and they're not. I don't want to be that guy.
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I wear glasses. That's how you'll know me. I am the speccy one.... And I am proud.
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Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.
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Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'
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Think about everything you read and everything you see. The one thing we can learn from all the horrible things that have happened in the last 15-20 years is that hysteria is the last thing we need. Cool thinking, pragmatism, and analytical thought are most important at this point.
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If you want to live in 'white world,' if you want to experience the stultifying boredom and penetrating ennui that homogeneity can bring, you can go to Canada any day of the year. It's an entire country named Doug.
Greg Proops
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Let me tell you about Australia. It's really, really, really, far from wherever you live on Earth. You fly and you fly and you fly. Then relativity takes over and you get younger and younger. And when you land, you're a gleam in your father's eye.
Greg Proops
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I'm all for dropping lawyers into any war time situation.
Greg Proops
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Arizona changes its state motto to Damn, it's hot.
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You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!
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If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.
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