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Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'
Greg Proops
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Greg Proops
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 3
Actor
Film Actor
Improviser
Podcaster
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Phoenix
Arizona
Freedom
Pilgrim
Left
Sneak
Littles
Persecution
Ever
Escape
Little
England
Even
Hear
Like
Since
Bullsh
World
Religious
Pilgrims
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You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!
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President Clinton celebrates the first casual Friday at the white house by wearing leather chaps.
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You're in a bar - grow up. You're drinking poison. You're trying to have sex unsafely with someone you don't know. Is secondhand smoke really the chiefest of your health concerns at this point?
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I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.
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I see guys dressing like they're in college - and they're not. I don't want to be that guy.
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I'm all for dropping lawyers into any war time situation.
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People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.
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I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.
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Glasses are for the brave. I do not need to pretend that I am sighted. People who need glasses and don't wear them are slightly less treacherous than people who don't need them and do-like every shallow Hollywood star who wants to be taken seriously.
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If you want to live in 'white world,' if you want to experience the stultifying boredom and penetrating ennui that homogeneity can bring, you can go to Canada any day of the year. It's an entire country named Doug.
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I think if you steal well, you're a genius. If you copy badly, you're a hack.
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Animals have two vital functions in today's society to be delicious and to fit well.
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I'm old and my knowledge is strictly horizontal.
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I work for a few at home who are devoted. People who are up now. Either they have some sort of bladder problem or they're extremely drunk. This is my crowd, these are the people I hope to get.
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Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.
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Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.
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Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.
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White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.
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Think about everything you read and everything you see. The one thing we can learn from all the horrible things that have happened in the last 15-20 years is that hysteria is the last thing we need. Cool thinking, pragmatism, and analytical thought are most important at this point.
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Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.
Greg Proops