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If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.

Greg Proops

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Greg Proops
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 3
Actor
Film Actor
Improviser
Podcaster
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Phoenix
Arizona
Nurturing
Surely
Destruction
Iraq
Weapons
Mass
Growth

More quotes by Greg Proops

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I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and gosh darn it, tonight I'm the king of the... general area.
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I wear glasses. That's how you'll know me. I am the speccy one.... And I am proud.
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Think about everything you read and everything you see. The one thing we can learn from all the horrible things that have happened in the last 15-20 years is that hysteria is the last thing we need. Cool thinking, pragmatism, and analytical thought are most important at this point.
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You're in a bar - grow up. You're drinking poison. You're trying to have sex unsafely with someone you don't know. Is secondhand smoke really the chiefest of your health concerns at this point?
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Let me tell you about Australia. It's really, really, really, far from wherever you live on Earth. You fly and you fly and you fly. Then relativity takes over and you get younger and younger. And when you land, you're a gleam in your father's eye.
Greg Proops
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I just feel like history is very much alive and important and I don't, you know, I can't worry about whether people get it or not, per se.
Greg Proops
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Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.
Greg Proops
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I work for a few at home who are devoted. People who are up now. Either they have some sort of bladder problem or they're extremely drunk. This is my crowd, these are the people I hope to get.
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You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.
Greg Proops
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Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'
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President Clinton celebrates the first casual Friday at the white house by wearing leather chaps.
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Animals have two vital functions in today's society to be delicious and to fit well.
Greg Proops
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Glasses are for the brave. I do not need to pretend that I am sighted. People who need glasses and don't wear them are slightly less treacherous than people who don't need them and do-like every shallow Hollywood star who wants to be taken seriously.
Greg Proops
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I see guys dressing like they're in college - and they're not. I don't want to be that guy.
Greg Proops
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In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.
Greg Proops
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I think if you steal well, you're a genius. If you copy badly, you're a hack.
Greg Proops
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I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.
Greg Proops
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I'm all for dropping lawyers into any war time situation.
Greg Proops
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White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.
Greg Proops
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I'm old and my knowledge is strictly horizontal.
Greg Proops