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If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.

Greg Proops

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Greg Proops
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 3
Actor
Film Actor
Improviser
Podcaster
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Phoenix
Arizona
Weapons
Mass
Growth
Nurturing
Surely
Destruction
Iraq

More quotes by Greg Proops

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I just feel like history is very much alive and important and I don't, you know, I can't worry about whether people get it or not, per se.
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I see guys dressing like they're in college - and they're not. I don't want to be that guy.
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People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.
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Let me tell you about Australia. It's really, really, really, far from wherever you live on Earth. You fly and you fly and you fly. Then relativity takes over and you get younger and younger. And when you land, you're a gleam in your father's eye.
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My feeling is, we ran from animals for three million years. It's our time now. If a cow could eat you, it would. And it wouldn't care how comfortable your truck ride over was, either.
Greg Proops
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President Clinton celebrates the first casual Friday at the white house by wearing leather chaps.
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Arizona changes its state motto to Damn, it's hot.
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I think if you steal well, you're a genius. If you copy badly, you're a hack.
Greg Proops
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If you want to live in 'white world,' if you want to experience the stultifying boredom and penetrating ennui that homogeneity can bring, you can go to Canada any day of the year. It's an entire country named Doug.
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I did stand up first in high school, joined an improv group in college, kept doing stand up after that, no one could deter me. And I have no other skills really, so I'm sorta stuck with this now. It's a little late to switch over to an ornithologist.
Greg Proops
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White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.
Greg Proops
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Glasses are for the brave. I do not need to pretend that I am sighted. People who need glasses and don't wear them are slightly less treacherous than people who don't need them and do-like every shallow Hollywood star who wants to be taken seriously.
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Animals have two vital functions in today's society to be delicious and to fit well.
Greg Proops
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I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.
Greg Proops
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Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'
Greg Proops
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In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.
Greg Proops
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We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.
Greg Proops
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Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.
Greg Proops
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I'm old and my knowledge is strictly horizontal.
Greg Proops
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Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.
Greg Proops