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You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!
Greg Proops
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Greg Proops
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 3
Actor
Film Actor
Improviser
Podcaster
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Phoenix
Arizona
Years
People
Isolation
Contribution
Musical
Constant
Leave
Alone
White
More quotes by Greg Proops
Animals have two vital functions in today's society to be delicious and to fit well.
Greg Proops
Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'
Greg Proops
I think if you steal well, you're a genius. If you copy badly, you're a hack.
Greg Proops
Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.
Greg Proops
Arizona changes its state motto to Damn, it's hot.
Greg Proops
You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.
Greg Proops
I work for a few at home who are devoted. People who are up now. Either they have some sort of bladder problem or they're extremely drunk. This is my crowd, these are the people I hope to get.
Greg Proops
I'm all for dropping lawyers into any war time situation.
Greg Proops
Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.
Greg Proops
People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.
Greg Proops
My feeling is, we ran from animals for three million years. It's our time now. If a cow could eat you, it would. And it wouldn't care how comfortable your truck ride over was, either.
Greg Proops
We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.
Greg Proops
I did stand up first in high school, joined an improv group in college, kept doing stand up after that, no one could deter me. And I have no other skills really, so I'm sorta stuck with this now. It's a little late to switch over to an ornithologist.
Greg Proops
I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and gosh darn it, tonight I'm the king of the... general area.
Greg Proops
Let me tell you about Australia. It's really, really, really, far from wherever you live on Earth. You fly and you fly and you fly. Then relativity takes over and you get younger and younger. And when you land, you're a gleam in your father's eye.
Greg Proops
You're in a bar - grow up. You're drinking poison. You're trying to have sex unsafely with someone you don't know. Is secondhand smoke really the chiefest of your health concerns at this point?
Greg Proops
Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.
Greg Proops
Glasses are for the brave. I do not need to pretend that I am sighted. People who need glasses and don't wear them are slightly less treacherous than people who don't need them and do-like every shallow Hollywood star who wants to be taken seriously.
Greg Proops
White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.
Greg Proops
In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.
Greg Proops