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I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.

Greg Proops

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Greg Proops
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 3
Actor
Film Actor
Improviser
Podcaster
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Phoenix
Arizona
Animals
Couldn
Animal
Whole
Love
Split
Splits

More quotes by Greg Proops

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I'm all for dropping lawyers into any war time situation.
Greg Proops
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You're in a bar - grow up. You're drinking poison. You're trying to have sex unsafely with someone you don't know. Is secondhand smoke really the chiefest of your health concerns at this point?
Greg Proops
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You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.
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We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.
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I wear glasses. That's how you'll know me. I am the speccy one.... And I am proud.
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I'm old and my knowledge is strictly horizontal.
Greg Proops
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Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.
Greg Proops
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I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.
Greg Proops
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If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.
Greg Proops
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Glasses are for the brave. I do not need to pretend that I am sighted. People who need glasses and don't wear them are slightly less treacherous than people who don't need them and do-like every shallow Hollywood star who wants to be taken seriously.
Greg Proops
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Animals have two vital functions in today's society to be delicious and to fit well.
Greg Proops
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I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and gosh darn it, tonight I'm the king of the... general area.
Greg Proops
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If you want to live in 'white world,' if you want to experience the stultifying boredom and penetrating ennui that homogeneity can bring, you can go to Canada any day of the year. It's an entire country named Doug.
Greg Proops
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You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!
Greg Proops
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Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.
Greg Proops
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I see guys dressing like they're in college - and they're not. I don't want to be that guy.
Greg Proops
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Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.
Greg Proops
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People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.
Greg Proops
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President Clinton celebrates the first casual Friday at the white house by wearing leather chaps.
Greg Proops
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Think about everything you read and everything you see. The one thing we can learn from all the horrible things that have happened in the last 15-20 years is that hysteria is the last thing we need. Cool thinking, pragmatism, and analytical thought are most important at this point.
Greg Proops