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I don't like the way my hair looks, so we're going to do the whole show over.
Greg Gutfeld
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Greg Gutfeld
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 12
Journalist
Television Personality
Television Presenter
San Mateo
California
Gregory John Gutfeld
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More quotes by Greg Gutfeld
How can you have a reasonable debate with people who are constantly changing the panic? They are moving the panic to a greater wave of hysteria?
Greg Gutfeld
I'm so tired of the same old cliche costumes. When people dress up as animals, they always go as, like, lions and tigers and dogs. You know, why don't you try something different? Dress up like a lemur.
Greg Gutfeld
Imagine if today, they invented a religion that advocated the killing of gays. We would not tolerate that. However, Islam is a religion that advocates that.
Greg Gutfeld
The most problematic word in America is the word problematic. It's a wuss word used by people to silence language without actually saying that they want to silence you. They don't want to go full fascist.
Greg Gutfeld
I am not the least bit religious, but at least I stick up for the good work of religion and the cascade of benefits that come from religion.
Greg Gutfeld
Commencement addresses are usually garbage. They're for colleges seeking publicity.
Greg Gutfeld
The media is Obama's scandal condom.
Greg Gutfeld
I don't know if you get anything more adorable than a tiny pig eating an apple. And here's a fun fact. This is how you make apple-smoked bacon.
Greg Gutfeld
I guess if your heart's in the right place, the trash can go anywhere.
Greg Gutfeld
Sanctuary cities are a lot like hitchhiking. And the abstract, it feels really good until you feel dead.
Greg Gutfeld
Legal gun ownership always prevails over the emotionalism of the gun control movement.
Greg Gutfeld
I'm sure if you could survey the unborn they would prefer the chance for life over the options of solar power.
Greg Gutfeld
You should just go, go to work, work hard, be a perfectionist, be a workhorse. If you work 10 years straight, you'll be comfortable and set for life. That is a fact.
Greg Gutfeld
Fact is, the desperate desire to be cool has skewed our culture toward nihilism, carelessness, and ineptitude. It is now cool to be an idiot. A jackass. It's cool to be a failure, as long as your failure is the basis for a reality show.
Greg Gutfeld
If a journalist calls you a racist, chances are, all other journalists will call you a racist.
Greg Gutfeld
Delayed gratification is the one thing we ignore these days. And if you delay it, it becomes more pleasurable later in life.
Greg Gutfeld
When someone in power declares that something is broken that means it's actually fine. What they're really saying is, Let's change this so I like it and ruin it. Nothing is ever broken.
Greg Gutfeld
The inevitability of abortion. But I refuse to accept the amoral consequences that are even far worse than that, which is harvesting them because we decided that as an adult society, we can use children to make our lives better, if you seek the reverse.
Greg Gutfeld
I've always wondered, how did Hitler get away with so much for so long?
Greg Gutfeld
Paternity, paternity. Let's think about this. This discriminates against the childless. So you get a year off because you produce a brat. If anything if you have a child you should work more because your brat's going to annoy me at the restaurants.
Greg Gutfeld