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ObamaCare is to health care as a fart is to an elevator.
Greg Gutfeld
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Greg Gutfeld
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 12
Journalist
Television Personality
Television Presenter
San Mateo
California
Gregory John Gutfeld
Elevator
Elevators
Fart
Health
Care
More quotes by Greg Gutfeld
The problem with legalization is we already have a dependent generation that's subsidized to oblivion. And will legal pot somehow slice another sliver of the population off of the productive world?
Greg Gutfeld
Ocean privilege does not exist anymore. The world is small. We cannot rely on distance anymore.
Greg Gutfeld
When immigrants go into the worse neighborhood and they fix it up, they should become citizens.
Greg Gutfeld
I'm so tired of the same old cliche costumes. When people dress up as animals, they always go as, like, lions and tigers and dogs. You know, why don't you try something different? Dress up like a lemur.
Greg Gutfeld
Playboy seems like a sad magazine for me. It seems like for men who would sit around in a bath robe.
Greg Gutfeld
Al Sharpton chases the spotlight the way Obama chases golf balls
Greg Gutfeld
I guess if your heart's in the right place, the trash can go anywhere.
Greg Gutfeld
ObamaCare is creating nothing but misery for everybody.
Greg Gutfeld
The people who whine about Fox News are hypocrites - they say they're totally tolerant, but when they run into someone who doesn't share their assumptions, they say, 'Fox News is evil, and it must be stopped.
Greg Gutfeld
I don't know if you get anything more adorable than a tiny pig eating an apple. And here's a fun fact. This is how you make apple-smoked bacon.
Greg Gutfeld
I'm sure if you could survey the unborn they would prefer the chance for life over the options of solar power.
Greg Gutfeld
The best thing about Ikea - I'm going to do a quiz here - the names. Do you know what a Floria Fin (ph) is? It's a candle. A Pogestra (ph) - table. A Bar Grick (ph) is a plate, an Eterleeg (ph) is a wine glass and a Scuggle (ph) is the name of my third nipple.
Greg Gutfeld
If Russia had the same military power that America did, earth would be called Russia.
Greg Gutfeld
The irony of prison is that it takes years and years and years to plan an elaborate escape, but all you have is years and years and years.
Greg Gutfeld
If the immigrant is responsible for assimilation of the country, and some of these people are in fact are born there. But if you find it unwelcoming to your own barbaric notions of equality, that is not on the country, that is on you. If you leave a horrible place, please leave your horrible practices behind.
Greg Gutfeld
I don't like the way my hair looks, so we're going to do the whole show over.
Greg Gutfeld
Chris Matthews is so nuts that if he ate a snickers bar it would be cannibalism.
Greg Gutfeld
I am not the least bit religious, but at least I stick up for the good work of religion and the cascade of benefits that come from religion.
Greg Gutfeld
How can you have a reasonable debate with people who are constantly changing the panic? They are moving the panic to a greater wave of hysteria?
Greg Gutfeld
Fact is, the desperate desire to be cool has skewed our culture toward nihilism, carelessness, and ineptitude. It is now cool to be an idiot. A jackass. It's cool to be a failure, as long as your failure is the basis for a reality show.
Greg Gutfeld