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ObamaCare is to health care as a fart is to an elevator.

Greg Gutfeld

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Greg Gutfeld
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 12
Journalist
Television Personality
Television Presenter
San Mateo
California
Gregory John Gutfeld
Elevator
Elevators
Fart
Health
Care

More quotes by Greg Gutfeld

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If you're hiring, if you're the person doing the hiring, forgive a scar or two. Remember that when we were young, we were also idiots. There were just no cameras there to catch it.
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When the government sees a poor area, its solution is to move the poor out.
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There are always gonna be people that are gonna be offended about something. This will never end.
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The people who whine about Fox News are hypocrites - they say they're totally tolerant, but when they run into someone who doesn't share their assumptions, they say, 'Fox News is evil, and it must be stopped.
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I'm sure if you could survey the unborn they would prefer the chance for life over the options of solar power.
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You should just go, go to work, work hard, be a perfectionist, be a workhorse. If you work 10 years straight, you'll be comfortable and set for life. That is a fact.
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A CNN poll shows both Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton beating Donald Trump in the general. Are republicans about to elect a loser? Who knows? But at least we can say it sells great. Then in 2032, we can nominate Justin Bieber and start all over again.
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When someone in power declares that something is broken that means it's actually fine. What they're really saying is, Let's change this so I like it and ruin it. Nothing is ever broken.
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92 people are killed every single day in car fatalities. What if we filmed every one of them? No one would drive cars.
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The most problematic word in America is the word problematic. It's a wuss word used by people to silence language without actually saying that they want to silence you. They don't want to go full fascist.
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When immigrants go into the worse neighborhood and they fix it up, they should become citizens. I think that your people, when you save a place. But the problem is, then you see immigrants saving cities in Baltimore and you see 40 Korean groceries get burned down.
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People that want to control words will never ever try to break up, like, a fight on a subway. They will never confront an aggressive person on the bus. They prefer their fights to be easy.
Greg Gutfeld
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I'm so tired of the same old cliche costumes. When people dress up as animals, they always go as, like, lions and tigers and dogs. You know, why don't you try something different? Dress up like a lemur.
Greg Gutfeld
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Ocean privilege does not exist anymore. The world is small. We cannot rely on distance anymore.
Greg Gutfeld
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I don't like the way my hair looks, so we're going to do the whole show over.
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It goes back to the if identity becomes your achievement, what do you do, this is what happens? And I do think it leads to psychological disorders. You have to start doing things and stop thinking about yourself.
Greg Gutfeld
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Why is our media quick to find evil in our local police, but tnot in Islamic terror?
Greg Gutfeld
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Delayed gratification is the one thing we ignore these days. And if you delay it, it becomes more pleasurable later in life.
Greg Gutfeld
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[In] 2010, Woody Allen said that he felt Barack Obama should be a dictator so that he could get things done, and the first thing obviously that Woody Allen wanted done is to make it legal to have sex with stepdaughters.
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One thing I noticed when I was young was I was impatient for success. I think everybody is impatient for success. It will come. But don't - you shouldn't let that impatience drive you crazy.
Greg Gutfeld