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ObamaCare is to health care as a fart is to an elevator.

Greg Gutfeld

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Greg Gutfeld
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 12
Journalist
Television Personality
Television Presenter
San Mateo
California
Gregory John Gutfeld
Elevator
Elevators
Fart
Health
Care

More quotes by Greg Gutfeld

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Imagine if today, they invented a religion that advocated the killing of gays. We would not tolerate that. However, Islam is a religion that advocates that.
Greg Gutfeld
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If you're hiring, if you're the person doing the hiring, forgive a scar or two. Remember that when we were young, we were also idiots. There were just no cameras there to catch it.
Greg Gutfeld
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If the immigrant is responsible for assimilation of the country, and some of these people are in fact are born there. But if you find it unwelcoming to your own barbaric notions of equality, that is not on the country, that is on you. If you leave a horrible place, please leave your horrible practices behind.
Greg Gutfeld
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Ask dumb questions and listen quietly for the answers. That's a wisdom stair climber.
Greg Gutfeld
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The metric system was designed to get people to enter charity runs.Do you think you would go run a 3.1 mile race? No, but if somebody says, hey, 5 km. You go, 5km sounds pretty impressive.
Greg Gutfeld
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Why is our media quick to find evil in our local police, but tnot in Islamic terror?
Greg Gutfeld
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We're already going down that path with illegal drug use and incarceration. I can't imagine it getting any worse.
Greg Gutfeld
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If Russia had the same military power that America did, earth would be called Russia.
Greg Gutfeld
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I admire President Obama's ability to trust strangers.
Greg Gutfeld
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When the government sees a poor area, its solution is to move the poor out.
Greg Gutfeld
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I don't like the way my hair looks, so we're going to do the whole show over.
Greg Gutfeld
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The best thing about Ikea - I'm going to do a quiz here - the names. Do you know what a Floria Fin (ph) is? It's a candle. A Pogestra (ph) - table. A Bar Grick (ph) is a plate, an Eterleeg (ph) is a wine glass and a Scuggle (ph) is the name of my third nipple.
Greg Gutfeld
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He's like a baseball team owner who also wants to coach, but who also attracts fans, like David Duke, and now anti-semi Louis Farrakhan who also gave Donald Trump odd praise. Now maybe this is not Trump's fault, but he is truly a unifier getting white and black racist leaders to agree on one thing - him. Not to mention the democrats.
Greg Gutfeld
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A CNN poll shows both Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton beating Donald Trump in the general. Are republicans about to elect a loser? Who knows? But at least we can say it sells great. Then in 2032, we can nominate Justin Bieber and start all over again.
Greg Gutfeld
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The [Confederate] Flag is - literally - sewed division. People claim it means different things to different people, but it harkens back to the pro-slavery side of the war.
Greg Gutfeld
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Al Gore completely lied about climate change in an effort to make a lot of money.
Greg Gutfeld
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I'm so tired of the same old cliche costumes. When people dress up as animals, they always go as, like, lions and tigers and dogs. You know, why don't you try something different? Dress up like a lemur.
Greg Gutfeld
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When you talk about Islamic terror. You go, oh, you're an Islamic - you're Islamophobic because you besmirching all Muslims. No. I'm talking about Islamic terror.
Greg Gutfeld
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Ocean privilege does not exist anymore. The world is small. We cannot rely on distance anymore.
Greg Gutfeld
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What begins as a Utopian vision, always - always - ends in bloodshed. Because you have to force a utopia on a free people. Free people want to pursue their own happiness, but a one-size-fits-all approach requires herding the free, against their will, into the state's idea of what's right. Then it's not utopia.
Greg Gutfeld