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ObamaCare is to health care as a fart is to an elevator.

Greg Gutfeld

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Greg Gutfeld
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 12
Journalist
Television Personality
Television Presenter
San Mateo
California
Gregory John Gutfeld
Elevators
Fart
Health
Care
Elevator

More quotes by Greg Gutfeld

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The thing which Reagan did, which was great, was he won the people. He marginalized the media. And that's what you need, an intellectual agility.
Greg Gutfeld
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He's like a baseball team owner who also wants to coach, but who also attracts fans, like David Duke, and now anti-semi Louis Farrakhan who also gave Donald Trump odd praise. Now maybe this is not Trump's fault, but he is truly a unifier getting white and black racist leaders to agree on one thing - him. Not to mention the democrats.
Greg Gutfeld
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Al Gore completely lied about climate change in an effort to make a lot of money.
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The best thing about Ikea - I'm going to do a quiz here - the names. Do you know what a Floria Fin (ph) is? It's a candle. A Pogestra (ph) - table. A Bar Grick (ph) is a plate, an Eterleeg (ph) is a wine glass and a Scuggle (ph) is the name of my third nipple.
Greg Gutfeld
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I have friends my age who started smoking pot when they got out of college. They didn't get anywhere. But if they drank, they managed to go somewhere. Does that make sense?
Greg Gutfeld
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Ocean privilege does not exist anymore. The world is small. We cannot rely on distance anymore.
Greg Gutfeld
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One thing I noticed when I was young was I was impatient for success. I think everybody is impatient for success. It will come. But don't - you shouldn't let that impatience drive you crazy.
Greg Gutfeld
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When someone in power declares that something is broken that means it's actually fine. What they're really saying is, Let's change this so I like it and ruin it. Nothing is ever broken.
Greg Gutfeld
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[In] 2010, Woody Allen said that he felt Barack Obama should be a dictator so that he could get things done, and the first thing obviously that Woody Allen wanted done is to make it legal to have sex with stepdaughters.
Greg Gutfeld
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The [Confederate] Flag is - literally - sewed division. People claim it means different things to different people, but it harkens back to the pro-slavery side of the war.
Greg Gutfeld
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How can you have a reasonable debate with people who are constantly changing the panic? They are moving the panic to a greater wave of hysteria?
Greg Gutfeld
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The inevitability of abortion. But I refuse to accept the amoral consequences that are even far worse than that, which is harvesting them because we decided that as an adult society, we can use children to make our lives better, if you seek the reverse.
Greg Gutfeld
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I want to make a positive point of Ikea. It makes income inequality a minor distraction.
Greg Gutfeld
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When immigrants go into the worse neighborhood and they fix it up, they should become citizens.
Greg Gutfeld
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If a journalist calls you a racist, chances are, all other journalists will call you a racist.
Greg Gutfeld
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If America was a house, the Left would root for the termites.
Greg Gutfeld
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What I'm going to miss is the competition, being, that's OK, I can watch from the house.
Greg Gutfeld
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Whenever there's an act of terror, its guns, its Christians, it's republicans, but the FBI can't say Islamism because it's too politically incorrect. And nobody wants to lose their job, it comes from the top. I think they lack the manpower to do their jobs. It's not about changing the FBI it's about changing the way they do business.
Greg Gutfeld
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Hollywood's schizophrenia over guns is matched only by their attitude toward taxes. Ever wonder why they film in Vancouver so often? It ain't for the beaches, I can tell you.
Greg Gutfeld
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Unlike those who fight truly intolerant things like terrorism throughout the world, Madonna is really the lone brave voice in the wilderness standing up against evil.
Greg Gutfeld