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[In] 2010, Woody Allen said that he felt Barack Obama should be a dictator so that he could get things done, and the first thing obviously that Woody Allen wanted done is to make it legal to have sex with stepdaughters.
Greg Gutfeld
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Greg Gutfeld
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 12
Journalist
Television Personality
Television Presenter
San Mateo
California
Gregory John Gutfeld
Done
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Thing
Obviously
Make
Obama
Things
Sex
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Wanted
Allen
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When immigrants go into the worse neighborhood and they fix it up, they should become citizens.
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The problem with the immigration debate, it's probably is the most poisoned and political debate of any issue, because you have this huge voting bloc that everybody says is yours
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A CNN poll shows both Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton beating Donald Trump in the general. Are republicans about to elect a loser? Who knows? But at least we can say it sells great. Then in 2032, we can nominate Justin Bieber and start all over again.
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I know that if I say something that's considered outrageous, a group will take it, create an email blast, and use me to raise money or to do whatever, to build their profile.
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The people who whine about Fox News are hypocrites - they say they're totally tolerant, but when they run into someone who doesn't share their assumptions, they say, 'Fox News is evil, and it must be stopped.
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I don't know if you get anything more adorable than a tiny pig eating an apple. And here's a fun fact. This is how you make apple-smoked bacon.
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Delayed gratification is the one thing we ignore these days. And if you delay it, it becomes more pleasurable later in life.
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If you're hiring, if you're the person doing the hiring, forgive a scar or two. Remember that when we were young, we were also idiots. There were just no cameras there to catch it.
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Commencement addresses are usually garbage. They're for colleges seeking publicity.
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The problem with legalization is we already have a dependent generation that's subsidized to oblivion. And will legal pot somehow slice another sliver of the population off of the productive world?
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The world understands that our country could solve all conflicts with military solutions, but we won't because we have leaders and we have a moral responsibility but we have also have a political - we have a political leader who is scared and who is raised on the idea that American force is the true evil.
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Ocean privilege does not exist anymore. The world is small. We cannot rely on distance anymore.
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It goes back to the if identity becomes your achievement, what do you do, this is what happens? And I do think it leads to psychological disorders. You have to start doing things and stop thinking about yourself.
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I admire President Obama's ability to trust strangers.
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Hollywood's schizophrenia over guns is matched only by their attitude toward taxes. Ever wonder why they film in Vancouver so often? It ain't for the beaches, I can tell you.
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I never quit. I just got fired.
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