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[In] 2010, Woody Allen said that he felt Barack Obama should be a dictator so that he could get things done, and the first thing obviously that Woody Allen wanted done is to make it legal to have sex with stepdaughters.
Greg Gutfeld
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Greg Gutfeld
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 12
Journalist
Television Personality
Television Presenter
San Mateo
California
Gregory John Gutfeld
Sex
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Felt
Wanted
Allen
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Woody
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Dictator
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Obama
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Eric Holder sees everything through the prism of race. He keeps that mustache because shaving cream is white.
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[If Republicans] got to put their kids into public school. They got to take public health. They would become libertarian faster than you could say Ayn Rand.
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I admire President Obama's ability to trust strangers.
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I guess if your heart's in the right place, the trash can go anywhere.
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I don't like the way my hair looks, so we're going to do the whole show over.
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When someone in power declares that something is broken that means it's actually fine. What they're really saying is, Let's change this so I like it and ruin it. Nothing is ever broken.
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I'm so tired of the same old cliche costumes. When people dress up as animals, they always go as, like, lions and tigers and dogs. You know, why don't you try something different? Dress up like a lemur.
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When you talk about Islamic terror. You go, oh, you're an Islamic - you're Islamophobic because you besmirching all Muslims. No. I'm talking about Islamic terror.
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The longer I live, the more I'm convinced the world is just one big high school, with the cool kids always targeting the uncool.
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Ask dumb questions and listen quietly for the answers. That's a wisdom stair climber.
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The people who whine about Fox News are hypocrites - they say they're totally tolerant, but when they run into someone who doesn't share their assumptions, they say, 'Fox News is evil, and it must be stopped.
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The irony of prison is that it takes years and years and years to plan an elaborate escape, but all you have is years and years and years.
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The world understands that our country could solve all conflicts with military solutions, but we won't because we have leaders and we have a moral responsibility but we have also have a political - we have a political leader who is scared and who is raised on the idea that American force is the true evil.
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The inevitability of abortion. But I refuse to accept the amoral consequences that are even far worse than that, which is harvesting them because we decided that as an adult society, we can use children to make our lives better, if you seek the reverse.
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I don't understand why a 40 is a quarter of beer when a 40 is 40 ounces. It's time to embrace the metric system.
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