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[In] 2010, Woody Allen said that he felt Barack Obama should be a dictator so that he could get things done, and the first thing obviously that Woody Allen wanted done is to make it legal to have sex with stepdaughters.
Greg Gutfeld
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Greg Gutfeld
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 12
Journalist
Television Personality
Television Presenter
San Mateo
California
Gregory John Gutfeld
Done
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Obviously
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Obama
Things
Sex
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Allen
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More quotes by Greg Gutfeld
Fact is, the desperate desire to be cool has skewed our culture toward nihilism, carelessness, and ineptitude. It is now cool to be an idiot. A jackass. It's cool to be a failure, as long as your failure is the basis for a reality show.
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The first mistake is trying to explain morality to a terrorist. Like trying to teach a rock to drive. It is impossible.
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I don't like the way my hair looks, so we're going to do the whole show over.
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You should try to get fired once in a while. It's good for you.
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Ocean privilege does not exist anymore. The world is small. We cannot rely on distance anymore.
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Delayed gratification is the one thing we ignore these days. And if you delay it, it becomes more pleasurable later in life.
Greg Gutfeld
The inevitability of abortion. But I refuse to accept the amoral consequences that are even far worse than that, which is harvesting them because we decided that as an adult society, we can use children to make our lives better, if you seek the reverse.
Greg Gutfeld
What begins as a Utopian vision, always - always - ends in bloodshed. Because you have to force a utopia on a free people. Free people want to pursue their own happiness, but a one-size-fits-all approach requires herding the free, against their will, into the state's idea of what's right. Then it's not utopia.
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I admire President Obama's ability to trust strangers.
Greg Gutfeld
The irony of prison is that it takes years and years and years to plan an elaborate escape, but all you have is years and years and years.
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Imagine if today, they invented a religion that advocated the killing of gays. We would not tolerate that. However, Islam is a religion that advocates that.
Greg Gutfeld
I don't believe a religion affords any protection if they are connected to any kind of terror.
Greg Gutfeld
Paternity, paternity. Let's think about this. This discriminates against the childless. So you get a year off because you produce a brat. If anything if you have a child you should work more because your brat's going to annoy me at the restaurants.
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When you have a TV show or when you are running a magazine, you have to remember that your audience isn't rich. They're not made of money.
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I want to make a positive point of Ikea. It makes income inequality a minor distraction.
Greg Gutfeld
Unlike those who fight truly intolerant things like terrorism throughout the world, Madonna is really the lone brave voice in the wilderness standing up against evil.
Greg Gutfeld
92 people are killed every single day in car fatalities. What if we filmed every one of them? No one would drive cars.
Greg Gutfeld
Eric Holder sees everything through the prism of race. He keeps that mustache because shaving cream is white.
Greg Gutfeld
The people who whine about Fox News are hypocrites - they say they're totally tolerant, but when they run into someone who doesn't share their assumptions, they say, 'Fox News is evil, and it must be stopped.
Greg Gutfeld
A CNN poll shows both Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton beating Donald Trump in the general. Are republicans about to elect a loser? Who knows? But at least we can say it sells great. Then in 2032, we can nominate Justin Bieber and start all over again.
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