Quote

The irony of prison is that it takes years and years and years to plan an elaborate escape, but all you have is years and years and years.

Greg Gutfeld

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Greg Gutfeld
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 12
Journalist
Television Personality
Television Presenter
San Mateo
California
Gregory John Gutfeld
Years
Elaborate
Irony
Escape
Prison
Plan
Plans
Takes

More quotes by Greg Gutfeld

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ObamaCare is to health care as a fart is to an elevator.
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When the government sees a poor area, its solution is to move the poor out.
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Playboy seems like a sad magazine for me. It seems like for men who would sit around in a bath robe.
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I guess if your heart's in the right place, the trash can go anywhere.
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I'm so tired of the same old cliche costumes. When people dress up as animals, they always go as, like, lions and tigers and dogs. You know, why don't you try something different? Dress up like a lemur.
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The world understands that our country could solve all conflicts with military solutions, but we won't because we have leaders and we have a moral responsibility but we have also have a political - we have a political leader who is scared and who is raised on the idea that American force is the true evil.
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I've always wondered, how did Hitler get away with so much for so long?
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92 people are killed every single day in car fatalities. What if we filmed every one of them? No one would drive cars.
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Move somewhere with decent public transit so you don't drive drunk and hit somebody.
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What I'm going to miss is the competition, being, that's OK, I can watch from the house.
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[If Republicans] got to put their kids into public school. They got to take public health. They would become libertarian faster than you could say Ayn Rand.
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Chris Matthews is so nuts that if he ate a snickers bar it would be cannibalism.
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I don't know if you get anything more adorable than a tiny pig eating an apple. And here's a fun fact. This is how you make apple-smoked bacon.
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He's like a baseball team owner who also wants to coach, but who also attracts fans, like David Duke, and now anti-semi Louis Farrakhan who also gave Donald Trump odd praise. Now maybe this is not Trump's fault, but he is truly a unifier getting white and black racist leaders to agree on one thing - him. Not to mention the democrats.
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Al Sharpton chases the spotlight the way Obama chases golf balls
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Ask dumb questions and listen quietly for the answers. That's a wisdom stair climber.
Greg Gutfeld
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Legal gun ownership always prevails over the emotionalism of the gun control movement.
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The best thing about Ikea - I'm going to do a quiz here - the names. Do you know what a Floria Fin (ph) is? It's a candle. A Pogestra (ph) - table. A Bar Grick (ph) is a plate, an Eterleeg (ph) is a wine glass and a Scuggle (ph) is the name of my third nipple.
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Commencement addresses are usually garbage. They're for colleges seeking publicity.
Greg Gutfeld
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I have friends my age who started smoking pot when they got out of college. They didn't get anywhere. But if they drank, they managed to go somewhere. Does that make sense?
Greg Gutfeld