Quote

The irony of prison is that it takes years and years and years to plan an elaborate escape, but all you have is years and years and years.

Greg Gutfeld

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Greg Gutfeld
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 12
Journalist
Television Personality
Television Presenter
San Mateo
California
Gregory John Gutfeld
Escape
Prison
Plan
Plans
Takes
Years
Elaborate
Irony

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If Russia had the same military power that America did, earth would be called Russia.
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When immigrants go into the worse neighborhood and they fix it up, they should become citizens. I think that your people, when you save a place. But the problem is, then you see immigrants saving cities in Baltimore and you see 40 Korean groceries get burned down.
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Sanctuary cities are a lot like hitchhiking. And the abstract, it feels really good until you feel dead.
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I don't know if you get anything more adorable than a tiny pig eating an apple. And here's a fun fact. This is how you make apple-smoked bacon.
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ObamaCare is creating nothing but misery for everybody.
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ObamaCare is to health care as a fart is to an elevator.
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Delayed gratification is the one thing we ignore these days. And if you delay it, it becomes more pleasurable later in life.
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People that want to control words will never ever try to break up, like, a fight on a subway. They will never confront an aggressive person on the bus. They prefer their fights to be easy.
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What begins as a Utopian vision, always - always - ends in bloodshed. Because you have to force a utopia on a free people. Free people want to pursue their own happiness, but a one-size-fits-all approach requires herding the free, against their will, into the state's idea of what's right. Then it's not utopia.
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There are always gonna be people that are gonna be offended about something. This will never end.
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One thing I noticed when I was young was I was impatient for success. I think everybody is impatient for success. It will come. But don't - you shouldn't let that impatience drive you crazy.
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How can you have a reasonable debate with people who are constantly changing the panic? They are moving the panic to a greater wave of hysteria?
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You should just go, go to work, work hard, be a perfectionist, be a workhorse. If you work 10 years straight, you'll be comfortable and set for life. That is a fact.
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The [Confederate] Flag is - literally - sewed division. People claim it means different things to different people, but it harkens back to the pro-slavery side of the war.
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I don't understand why a 40 is a quarter of beer when a 40 is 40 ounces. It's time to embrace the metric system.
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I've always wondered, how did Hitler get away with so much for so long?
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Eric Holder sees everything through the prism of race. He keeps that mustache because shaving cream is white.
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Ocean privilege does not exist anymore. The world is small. We cannot rely on distance anymore.
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The great thing about being rich is, you can embrace practices that kill the poor - that's what socialism does.
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I admire President Obama's ability to trust strangers.
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