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The irony of prison is that it takes years and years and years to plan an elaborate escape, but all you have is years and years and years.
Greg Gutfeld
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Greg Gutfeld
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 12
Journalist
Television Personality
Television Presenter
San Mateo
California
Gregory John Gutfeld
Plans
Takes
Years
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Irony
Escape
Prison
Plan
More quotes by Greg Gutfeld
I'm sure if you could survey the unborn they would prefer the chance for life over the options of solar power.
Greg Gutfeld
One thing I noticed when I was young was I was impatient for success. I think everybody is impatient for success. It will come. But don't - you shouldn't let that impatience drive you crazy.
Greg Gutfeld
The best thing about Ikea - I'm going to do a quiz here - the names. Do you know what a Floria Fin (ph) is? It's a candle. A Pogestra (ph) - table. A Bar Grick (ph) is a plate, an Eterleeg (ph) is a wine glass and a Scuggle (ph) is the name of my third nipple.
Greg Gutfeld
Fact is, the desperate desire to be cool has skewed our culture toward nihilism, carelessness, and ineptitude. It is now cool to be an idiot. A jackass. It's cool to be a failure, as long as your failure is the basis for a reality show.
Greg Gutfeld
ObamaCare is creating nothing but misery for everybody.
Greg Gutfeld
People ask me what I am politically and I've previously offered this equation: I became a conservative by being around liberals. And I became a libertarian after being around conservatives.
Greg Gutfeld
Hollywood's schizophrenia over guns is matched only by their attitude toward taxes. Ever wonder why they film in Vancouver so often? It ain't for the beaches, I can tell you.
Greg Gutfeld
The longer I live, the more I'm convinced the world is just one big high school, with the cool kids always targeting the uncool.
Greg Gutfeld
When someone in power declares that something is broken that means it's actually fine. What they're really saying is, Let's change this so I like it and ruin it. Nothing is ever broken.
Greg Gutfeld
Chris Matthews is so nuts that if he ate a snickers bar it would be cannibalism.
Greg Gutfeld
Legal gun ownership always prevails over the emotionalism of the gun control movement.
Greg Gutfeld
Celebrities are the doormats to power.
Greg Gutfeld
Ask dumb questions and listen quietly for the answers. That's a wisdom stair climber.
Greg Gutfeld
He's like a baseball team owner who also wants to coach, but who also attracts fans, like David Duke, and now anti-semi Louis Farrakhan who also gave Donald Trump odd praise. Now maybe this is not Trump's fault, but he is truly a unifier getting white and black racist leaders to agree on one thing - him. Not to mention the democrats.
Greg Gutfeld
Why is our media quick to find evil in our local police, but tnot in Islamic terror?
Greg Gutfeld
Move somewhere with decent public transit so you don't drive drunk and hit somebody.
Greg Gutfeld
The problem with the immigration debate, it's probably is the most poisoned and political debate of any issue, because you have this huge voting bloc that everybody says is yours
Greg Gutfeld
It goes back to the if identity becomes your achievement, what do you do, this is what happens? And I do think it leads to psychological disorders. You have to start doing things and stop thinking about yourself.
Greg Gutfeld
I've always wondered, how did Hitler get away with so much for so long?
Greg Gutfeld
The media treats fear like a one-night stand. They jump on it and then they leave the next day and they forget - remember the Alar Scare? Things - see, nobody even remembers Alar.
Greg Gutfeld