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The irony of prison is that it takes years and years and years to plan an elaborate escape, but all you have is years and years and years.
Greg Gutfeld
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Greg Gutfeld
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 12
Journalist
Television Personality
Television Presenter
San Mateo
California
Gregory John Gutfeld
Escape
Prison
Plan
Plans
Takes
Years
Elaborate
Irony
More quotes by Greg Gutfeld
The metric system was designed to get people to enter charity runs.Do you think you would go run a 3.1 mile race? No, but if somebody says, hey, 5 km. You go, 5km sounds pretty impressive.
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One thing I noticed when I was young was I was impatient for success. I think everybody is impatient for success. It will come. But don't - you shouldn't let that impatience drive you crazy.
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[In] 2010, Woody Allen said that he felt Barack Obama should be a dictator so that he could get things done, and the first thing obviously that Woody Allen wanted done is to make it legal to have sex with stepdaughters.
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Commencement addresses are usually garbage. They're for colleges seeking publicity.
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I guess if your heart's in the right place, the trash can go anywhere.
Greg Gutfeld
The most problematic word in America is the word problematic. It's a wuss word used by people to silence language without actually saying that they want to silence you. They don't want to go full fascist.
Greg Gutfeld
I think the reason why 'Red Eye' is popular is because we question the common assumptions that you find elsewhere.
Greg Gutfeld
When someone in power declares that something is broken that means it's actually fine. What they're really saying is, Let's change this so I like it and ruin it. Nothing is ever broken.
Greg Gutfeld
Move somewhere with decent public transit so you don't drive drunk and hit somebody.
Greg Gutfeld
It goes back to the if identity becomes your achievement, what do you do, this is what happens? And I do think it leads to psychological disorders. You have to start doing things and stop thinking about yourself.
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Why is our media quick to find evil in our local police, but tnot in Islamic terror?
Greg Gutfeld
If a journalist calls you a racist, chances are, all other journalists will call you a racist.
Greg Gutfeld
If America was a house, the Left would root for the termites.
Greg Gutfeld
ObamaCare is creating nothing but misery for everybody.
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The media treats fear like a one-night stand. They jump on it and then they leave the next day and they forget - remember the Alar Scare? Things - see, nobody even remembers Alar.
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In the hands of fiends, guns will kill you. In your hands, they protect against such fiends.
Greg Gutfeld
The problem with legalization is we already have a dependent generation that's subsidized to oblivion. And will legal pot somehow slice another sliver of the population off of the productive world?
Greg Gutfeld
I want to make a positive point of Ikea. It makes income inequality a minor distraction.
Greg Gutfeld
Chris Matthews is so nuts that if he ate a snickers bar it would be cannibalism.
Greg Gutfeld
The people who whine about Fox News are hypocrites - they say they're totally tolerant, but when they run into someone who doesn't share their assumptions, they say, 'Fox News is evil, and it must be stopped.
Greg Gutfeld