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I don't understand why a 40 is a quarter of beer when a 40 is 40 ounces. It's time to embrace the metric system.

Greg Gutfeld

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Greg Gutfeld
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 12
Journalist
Television Personality
Television Presenter
San Mateo
California
Gregory John Gutfeld
Embrace
System
Understand
Ounces
Time
Metric
Metrics
Quarter
Quarters
Beer

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Fake sympathy is the politicians demanding more cash as they ignore the underlying crisis. They prefer money over morality.
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I know that if I say something that's considered outrageous, a group will take it, create an email blast, and use me to raise money or to do whatever, to build their profile.
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Commencement addresses are usually garbage. They're for colleges seeking publicity.
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We're already going down that path with illegal drug use and incarceration. I can't imagine it getting any worse.
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Delayed gratification is the one thing we ignore these days. And if you delay it, it becomes more pleasurable later in life.
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Al Sharpton chases the spotlight the way Obama chases golf balls
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Sanctuary cities are a lot like hitchhiking. And the abstract, it feels really good until you feel dead.
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One thing I noticed when I was young was I was impatient for success. I think everybody is impatient for success. It will come. But don't - you shouldn't let that impatience drive you crazy.
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Whenever there's an act of terror, its guns, its Christians, it's republicans, but the FBI can't say Islamism because it's too politically incorrect. And nobody wants to lose their job, it comes from the top. I think they lack the manpower to do their jobs. It's not about changing the FBI it's about changing the way they do business.
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You should try to get fired once in a while. It's good for you.
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The metric system was designed to get people to enter charity runs.Do you think you would go run a 3.1 mile race? No, but if somebody says, hey, 5 km. You go, 5km sounds pretty impressive.
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When the government sees a poor area, its solution is to move the poor out.
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When you have a TV show or when you are running a magazine, you have to remember that your audience isn't rich. They're not made of money.
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If you're hiring, if you're the person doing the hiring, forgive a scar or two. Remember that when we were young, we were also idiots. There were just no cameras there to catch it.
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The great thing about being rich is, you can embrace practices that kill the poor - that's what socialism does.
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The most problematic word in America is the word problematic. It's a wuss word used by people to silence language without actually saying that they want to silence you. They don't want to go full fascist.
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How can you have a reasonable debate with people who are constantly changing the panic? They are moving the panic to a greater wave of hysteria?
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I admire President Obama's ability to trust strangers.
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The first mistake is trying to explain morality to a terrorist. Like trying to teach a rock to drive. It is impossible.
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