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Move somewhere with decent public transit so you don't drive drunk and hit somebody.

Greg Gutfeld

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Greg Gutfeld
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: September 12
Journalist
Television Personality
Television Presenter
San Mateo
California
Gregory John Gutfeld
Moving
Transit
Decent
Drunk
Drive
Somewhere
Move
Somebody
Public

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Chris Matthews is so nuts that if he ate a snickers bar it would be cannibalism.
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A CNN poll shows both Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton beating Donald Trump in the general. Are republicans about to elect a loser? Who knows? But at least we can say it sells great. Then in 2032, we can nominate Justin Bieber and start all over again.
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I don't like the way my hair looks, so we're going to do the whole show over.
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The media treats fear like a one-night stand. They jump on it and then they leave the next day and they forget - remember the Alar Scare? Things - see, nobody even remembers Alar.
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I have friends my age who started smoking pot when they got out of college. They didn't get anywhere. But if they drank, they managed to go somewhere. Does that make sense?
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Why is our media quick to find evil in our local police, but tnot in Islamic terror?
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The first mistake is trying to explain morality to a terrorist. Like trying to teach a rock to drive. It is impossible.
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If a journalist calls you a racist, chances are, all other journalists will call you a racist.
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If the immigrant is responsible for assimilation of the country, and some of these people are in fact are born there. But if you find it unwelcoming to your own barbaric notions of equality, that is not on the country, that is on you. If you leave a horrible place, please leave your horrible practices behind.
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Unlike those who fight truly intolerant things like terrorism throughout the world, Madonna is really the lone brave voice in the wilderness standing up against evil.
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Job creation is important I think, but it's not the critical issue for Republicans.
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Sanctuary cities are a lot like hitchhiking. And the abstract, it feels really good until you feel dead.
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Paternity, paternity. Let's think about this. This discriminates against the childless. So you get a year off because you produce a brat. If anything if you have a child you should work more because your brat's going to annoy me at the restaurants.
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I don't understand why a 40 is a quarter of beer when a 40 is 40 ounces. It's time to embrace the metric system.
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If you're hiring, if you're the person doing the hiring, forgive a scar or two. Remember that when we were young, we were also idiots. There were just no cameras there to catch it.
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I don't know if you get anything more adorable than a tiny pig eating an apple. And here's a fun fact. This is how you make apple-smoked bacon.
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When the government sees a poor area, its solution is to move the poor out.
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When you have a TV show or when you are running a magazine, you have to remember that your audience isn't rich. They're not made of money.
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The [Confederate] Flag is - literally - sewed division. People claim it means different things to different people, but it harkens back to the pro-slavery side of the war.
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