Quote

George Bush says that gay people getting married would violate the sanctity of marriage. Is anybody here married? Does it feel like a gift from God to you?

Greg Giraldo

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Greg Giraldo
Age: 44 †
Born: 1965
Born: December 10
Died: 2010
Died: September 29
Actor
Comedian
Lawyer
Stand-Up Comedian
The Bronx
New York City
Gregory C. Giraldo
Feel
Gay
Feels
Gift
Would
Anybody
Like
Married
People
Marriage
Violate
Says
Sanctity
Getting
George
Doe
Bush

More quotes by Greg Giraldo

Image
You think they could stop putting these experts on the news with their doomsday scenarios of how the terrorists might attack us? Because you get the sense they're coming up with ideas that these people haven't thought of themselves.
Greg Giraldo
Image
Norm MacDonald is here - one of the funniest people ever. Norm's got a giant gambling problem. He's dropped more coin in a casino than Michael J. Fox at a parking meter.
Greg Giraldo
Image
If they [peple] really hate you, that means you're doing something right.
Greg Giraldo
Image
The Japanese scientists just found a 25,000-year-old mammoth in the ice in Siberia, and they're about to clone it... You think the Japanese of all people would want nothing to do with prehistoric animals after what happened with Godzilla.
Greg Giraldo
Image
Some people are just really goofy kind of guitar acts, and they go out and do these colleges and start making a fortune pretty early on. And other people - I know guys who are great comics, who've done the Letterman show many times, who still barely pay their bills.
Greg Giraldo
Image
A good joke provides tension, and then, release of that tension. You build the tension by saying things that are controversial. The release is the laugh. The bigger the surprise or insight in your joke, the bigger the laugh.
Greg Giraldo
Image
All the evidence we need that God is angry with us is Justin Timberlake's career.
Greg Giraldo
Image
I like when people give up chocolate for Lent. Ooh, just like being nailed to a cross.
Greg Giraldo
Image
Edible underwear?... even during sex, we can't stop eating.
Greg Giraldo
Image
You're an old man who dresses like a Hooter's waitress.
Greg Giraldo
Image
If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.
Greg Giraldo
Image
Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. If Bill Gates had got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?
Greg Giraldo
Image
Seventy-two virgins - does that make sense to anyone? And it's an ancient religion, maybe it was misinterpreted? Maybe it's not 72 virgins, maybe it's a 7-foot-2 Persian.
Greg Giraldo
Image
People come to this country from all over the world to pursue their dreams of driving a taxi or selling hot dogs or working in a sweatshop.
Greg Giraldo
Image
Jesse has opened for me extensively on the road so I’ve seen him do hundreds of sets. He is always super funny, has tons of material and the crowds love him. Bottom line, Jesse Joyce is a great comedian.
Greg Giraldo
Image
We need more money for schools. We need more money for the kids. Ever think maybe the damn kids aren't worth it?
Greg Giraldo
Image
When I heard you could get a disease from playing with your prairie dog, I thought, 'Wow, what a euphemism.' I thought playing with my prairie dog was the best way to avoid diseases.
Greg Giraldo
Image
In catholisism we have an entire religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story
Greg Giraldo
Image
The hardest part, for real, is probably when you just don't feel like going on stage and being funny.
Greg Giraldo
Image
It's something like 70% of American adults are obese, and the rest of them are women on Ally McBeal.
Greg Giraldo