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It's all about self-esteem now. Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who's gonna dance in our strip-clubs?

Greg Giraldo

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Greg Giraldo
Age: 44 †
Born: 1965
Born: December 10
Died: 2010
Died: September 29
Actor
Comedian
Lawyer
Stand-Up Comedian
The Bronx
New York City
Gregory C. Giraldo
Make
Build
Good
Grows
Everybody
Strip
High
Ego
Kids
Clubs
Self
Esteem
Feel
Gonna
Feels
Dance

More quotes by Greg Giraldo

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Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!
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If I drive my SUV I'm supporting terrorism. Okay, I'll take a taxi, Is that better?
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The reality is I'm not a 'get knocked down and come back harder' kind of guy.
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Jesse has opened for me extensively on the road so I’ve seen him do hundreds of sets. He is always super funny, has tons of material and the crowds love him. Bottom line, Jesse Joyce is a great comedian.
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In catholisism we have an entire religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story
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Look at the insane things the Jews believe. The Jews believe that Barbra Streisand is worth $1,000 bucks a ticket.
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The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell.
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We're a spoiled, lazy culture, full of ethnic pride that has to have a parade for every nationality.
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It's something like 70% of American adults are obese, and the rest of them are women on Ally McBeal.
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If they [peple] really hate you, that means you're doing something right.
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George Bush says that gay people getting married would violate the sanctity of marriage. Is anybody here married? Does it feel like a gift from God to you?
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Norm MacDonald is here - one of the funniest people ever. Norm's got a giant gambling problem. He's dropped more coin in a casino than Michael J. Fox at a parking meter.
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Even before the kids are born, you've go to make these decisions. If it's a boy, do we get him circumcised? If it's a girl, do we keep her?
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We need more money for schools. We need more money for the kids. Ever think maybe the damn kids aren't worth it?
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A good joke provides tension, and then, release of that tension. You build the tension by saying things that are controversial. The release is the laugh. The bigger the surprise or insight in your joke, the bigger the laugh.
Greg Giraldo
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Gilbert Gottfried is famously cheap. I'm impressed you're here Gilbert. You gotta buy new clothes and take a week off work just to do this. But you showed up. You tightened your belt and you came. You're like David Carradine.
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The internet's a creepy thing, especially if you have kids. It says something very creepy about the fact that I use the same machine to masturbate with as I use to teach my kid the alphabet.
Greg Giraldo
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All the evidence we need that God is angry with us is Justin Timberlake's career.
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People come to this country from all over the world to pursue their dreams of driving a taxi or selling hot dogs or working in a sweatshop.
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The hardest part, for real, is probably when you just don't feel like going on stage and being funny.
Greg Giraldo