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How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Thinking
White
President
House
Another
Ever
Many
Believe
Presidents
Think
Guy

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Don't waste the pretty
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The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.
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I believe in love in hindsight, meaning attraction and connection can be remembered as love at first sight. But how could you possibly know at first sight? That's too much pressure to put on a relationship.
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Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
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..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
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But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
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If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
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Having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex.
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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
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Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
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The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.
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If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
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My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.
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...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
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The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.
Greg Behrendt
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I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.
Greg Behrendt
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I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
Greg Behrendt
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You are not easily forgotten.
Greg Behrendt
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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
Greg Behrendt
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If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
Greg Behrendt