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How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
President
House
Another
Ever
Many
Believe
Presidents
Think
Guy
Thinking
White

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There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
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As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
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People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
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Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It's easy to confuse love with fear.
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So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
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Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
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Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
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Send her a quick note while you`re stuck in a long meeting. A lighthearted chat definitely makes the time go faster.
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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
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Always be classy. Never be crazy.
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Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
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You are not easily forgotten.
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If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
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People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
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It`s your version of whatever that is. We use those words because they are kind of empowering. Try to get back into your life and get back on track with dreams you have. There`s nothing more attractive than a person who likes herself.
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The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.
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If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.
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The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.
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The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
Greg Behrendt