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How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
Greg Behrendt
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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Many
Believe
Presidents
Think
Guy
Thinking
White
President
House
Another
Ever
More quotes by Greg Behrendt
But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
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I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
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Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
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My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
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The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.
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So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
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Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
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Good enough to tweet, not to say.
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He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
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Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
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Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
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The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
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Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
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Don't waste the pretty
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Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
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If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.
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I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
Greg Behrendt
Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
Greg Behrendt
