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When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
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More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
Greg Behrendt
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You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
Greg Behrendt
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Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.
Greg Behrendt
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I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door at your own house, you know how many kids will roll up, 14 years old with no costume and an attitude. My other rule: don't grab. Let me assess you and then design a candy situation for you.
Greg Behrendt
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Don't waste the pretty
Greg Behrendt
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If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
Greg Behrendt
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Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
Greg Behrendt
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It`s your version of whatever that is. We use those words because they are kind of empowering. Try to get back into your life and get back on track with dreams you have. There`s nothing more attractive than a person who likes herself.
Greg Behrendt
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If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
Greg Behrendt
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But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
Greg Behrendt
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If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.
Greg Behrendt
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Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
Greg Behrendt
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It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.
Greg Behrendt
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People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
Greg Behrendt
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
Greg Behrendt
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A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
Greg Behrendt
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My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
Greg Behrendt
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When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
Greg Behrendt
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There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
Greg Behrendt
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The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
Greg Behrendt