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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Confusing
Confusion
Relationship
Pain

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
Greg Behrendt
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The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
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Don't waste the pretty
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An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
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Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
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Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
Greg Behrendt
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Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
Greg Behrendt
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Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
Greg Behrendt
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She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
Greg Behrendt
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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
Greg Behrendt
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Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
Greg Behrendt
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There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
Greg Behrendt
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My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.
Greg Behrendt
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Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.
Greg Behrendt
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We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
Greg Behrendt
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Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
Greg Behrendt
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The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
Greg Behrendt
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So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
Greg Behrendt
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If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
Greg Behrendt