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So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
Greg Behrendt
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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Kind
Good
Dude
Plates
Adult
Adults
Guess
Becoming
Somebody
More quotes by Greg Behrendt
Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
Greg Behrendt
If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
Greg Behrendt
I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
Greg Behrendt
But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
Greg Behrendt
Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
Greg Behrendt
I believe in love in hindsight, meaning attraction and connection can be remembered as love at first sight. But how could you possibly know at first sight? That's too much pressure to put on a relationship.
Greg Behrendt
There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
Greg Behrendt
A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
Greg Behrendt
Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
Greg Behrendt
He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
Greg Behrendt
The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
Greg Behrendt
Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
Greg Behrendt
My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
Greg Behrendt
Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
Greg Behrendt
The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
Greg Behrendt
There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
Greg Behrendt
Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
Greg Behrendt
Having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex.
Greg Behrendt
Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
Greg Behrendt
Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
Greg Behrendt