Quote

If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.

Greg Behrendt

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Walking
Father
Around
Going
Thinking
Pussy
Cat
Eating

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

Image
Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
Greg Behrendt
Image
How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
Greg Behrendt
Image
Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
Greg Behrendt
Image
If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
Greg Behrendt
Image
You are not easily forgotten.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.
Greg Behrendt
Image
The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
Greg Behrendt
Image
The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
Greg Behrendt
Image
If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
Greg Behrendt
Image
My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
Greg Behrendt
Image
It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.
Greg Behrendt
Image
If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
Greg Behrendt
Image
She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
Greg Behrendt
Image
I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.
Greg Behrendt
Image
I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
Greg Behrendt