Quote

If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.

Greg Behrendt

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Thinking
Pussy
Cat
Eating
Walking
Father
Around
Going

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

Image
Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
Greg Behrendt
Image
For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.
Greg Behrendt
Image
My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
Greg Behrendt
Image
I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door at your own house, you know how many kids will roll up, 14 years old with no costume and an attitude. My other rule: don't grab. Let me assess you and then design a candy situation for you.
Greg Behrendt
Image
...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Greg Behrendt
Image
I believe in love in hindsight, meaning attraction and connection can be remembered as love at first sight. But how could you possibly know at first sight? That's too much pressure to put on a relationship.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
Greg Behrendt
Image
If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
Greg Behrendt
Image
The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
Greg Behrendt
Image
People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
Greg Behrendt
Image
There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
Greg Behrendt
Image
He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
Greg Behrendt
Image
First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
Greg Behrendt
Image
You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
Greg Behrendt