Quote

If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.

Greg Behrendt

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Cat
Eating
Walking
Father
Around
Going
Thinking
Pussy

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

Image
Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.
Greg Behrendt
Image
It`s your version of whatever that is. We use those words because they are kind of empowering. Try to get back into your life and get back on track with dreams you have. There`s nothing more attractive than a person who likes herself.
Greg Behrendt
Image
You are not easily forgotten.
Greg Behrendt
Image
There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree.
Greg Behrendt
Image
But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
Greg Behrendt
Image
People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
Greg Behrendt
Image
Always be classy. Never be crazy.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
Greg Behrendt
Image
The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
Greg Behrendt
Image
Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Well, I knew instantly when I met my wife what a good relationship it was, compared with what I had been doing for the previous 20-odd years. She is my buddy, my partner, my friend. And part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
Greg Behrendt
Image
There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
Greg Behrendt
Image
Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
Greg Behrendt
Image
I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door at your own house, you know how many kids will roll up, 14 years old with no costume and an attitude. My other rule: don't grab. Let me assess you and then design a candy situation for you.
Greg Behrendt