Quote

I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Speak
Vehicle
Else
Cake
Phrases
Might
Department
Vehicles
Without
Boat
Register
Would
Anywhere
Spanish
Somebody
Motor
Language
Phrase

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
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Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less.
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Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.
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I believe in love in hindsight, meaning attraction and connection can be remembered as love at first sight. But how could you possibly know at first sight? That's too much pressure to put on a relationship.
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We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.
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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
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She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
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Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
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We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
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As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
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Always be classy. Never be crazy.
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The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
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Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
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I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
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If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
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If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.
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My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
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The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
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Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It's easy to confuse love with fear.
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If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
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