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She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
Greg Behrendt
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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Night
Another
Driveway
Didn
Minus
Much
Dude
Love
Plus
Caught
Moved
Making
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We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.
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If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
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Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
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So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
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People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
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First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
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Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
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How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
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Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
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He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
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My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
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Always be classy. Never be crazy.
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Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
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