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She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
Greg Behrendt
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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Night
Another
Driveway
Didn
Minus
Much
Dude
Love
Plus
Caught
Moved
Making
More quotes by Greg Behrendt
People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
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Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.
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When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
Greg Behrendt
Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
Greg Behrendt
It`s your version of whatever that is. We use those words because they are kind of empowering. Try to get back into your life and get back on track with dreams you have. There`s nothing more attractive than a person who likes herself.
Greg Behrendt
There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
Greg Behrendt
So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
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It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.
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As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
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Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It's easy to confuse love with fear.
Greg Behrendt
Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
Greg Behrendt
Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
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I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
Greg Behrendt
If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.
Greg Behrendt
My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
Greg Behrendt
I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
Greg Behrendt
If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
Greg Behrendt
There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
Greg Behrendt
