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My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
Greg Behrendt
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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Failing
Asked
Hand
Father
Hands
Bats
Might
Genuinely
Basketball
Daughter
More quotes by Greg Behrendt
I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
Greg Behrendt
Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
Greg Behrendt
First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
Greg Behrendt
There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
Greg Behrendt
I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
Greg Behrendt
Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
Greg Behrendt
Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
Greg Behrendt
I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
Greg Behrendt
If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
Greg Behrendt
You are not easily forgotten.
Greg Behrendt
I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door at your own house, you know how many kids will roll up, 14 years old with no costume and an attitude. My other rule: don't grab. Let me assess you and then design a candy situation for you.
Greg Behrendt
Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
Greg Behrendt
The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
Greg Behrendt
When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
Greg Behrendt
Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
Greg Behrendt
But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
Greg Behrendt
...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
Greg Behrendt
It`s your version of whatever that is. We use those words because they are kind of empowering. Try to get back into your life and get back on track with dreams you have. There`s nothing more attractive than a person who likes herself.
Greg Behrendt
If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.
Greg Behrendt
Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
Greg Behrendt
