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My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Hands
Bats
Might
Genuinely
Basketball
Daughter
Failing
Asked
Hand
Father

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
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Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
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Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
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When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.
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There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree.
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The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
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A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
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One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life is that sometimes relationship just end, often without reason. I truly believe that sometimes both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning
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The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
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Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself
Greg Behrendt
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I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
Greg Behrendt
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Good enough to tweet, not to say.
Greg Behrendt
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Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
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Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
Greg Behrendt
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We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
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If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.
Greg Behrendt
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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
Greg Behrendt
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Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
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For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.
Greg Behrendt