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My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
Greg Behrendt
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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Hand
Father
Hands
Bats
Might
Genuinely
Basketball
Daughter
Failing
Asked
More quotes by Greg Behrendt
There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
Greg Behrendt
He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
Greg Behrendt
If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.
Greg Behrendt
Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
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You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
Greg Behrendt
...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
Greg Behrendt
The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
Greg Behrendt
There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
Greg Behrendt
I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.
Greg Behrendt
..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
Greg Behrendt
My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.
Greg Behrendt
If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
Greg Behrendt
People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.
Greg Behrendt
Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
Greg Behrendt
An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
Greg Behrendt
Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Greg Behrendt
If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
Greg Behrendt
How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
Greg Behrendt
You are not easily forgotten.
Greg Behrendt
If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.
Greg Behrendt
