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It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Things
Time
Like
People
Foster
Insects
Pretending
Stop

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.
Greg Behrendt
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I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.
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...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
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..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
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Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
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It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.
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A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told him to get lost, telling him that he only gets one shot with her, and he blew it.
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He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
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I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
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Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
Greg Behrendt
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She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.
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You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
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The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
Greg Behrendt
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Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.
Greg Behrendt
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One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life is that sometimes relationship just end, often without reason. I truly believe that sometimes both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning
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Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
Greg Behrendt
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We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.
Greg Behrendt
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Don't waste the pretty
Greg Behrendt
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
Greg Behrendt
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Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
Greg Behrendt