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It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Pretending
Stop
Things
Time
Like
People
Foster
Insects

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Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.
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An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
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I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
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Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It's easy to confuse love with fear.
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The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
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How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
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If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
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Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
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As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
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It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.
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..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
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There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.
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I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.
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We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.
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If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
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Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
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Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
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I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
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Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
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Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
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