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It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Time
Like
People
Foster
Insects
Pretending
Stop
Things

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.
Greg Behrendt
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Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
Greg Behrendt
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Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less.
Greg Behrendt
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Ive learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.
Greg Behrendt
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There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree.
Greg Behrendt
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He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.
Greg Behrendt
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Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.
Greg Behrendt
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When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.
Greg Behrendt
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Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Greg Behrendt
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If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.
Greg Behrendt
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My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.
Greg Behrendt
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Good enough to tweet, not to say.
Greg Behrendt
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The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.
Greg Behrendt
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I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
Greg Behrendt
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Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.
Greg Behrendt
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Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
Greg Behrendt
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You are not easily forgotten.
Greg Behrendt
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Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
Greg Behrendt
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The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
Greg Behrendt
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First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend
Greg Behrendt