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It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Like
People
Foster
Insects
Pretending
Stop
Things
Time

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.
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There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree.
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If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.
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An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
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Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
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So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
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The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
Greg Behrendt
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There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product it's not so much about the theme of the show.
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He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
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Having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex.
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When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.
Greg Behrendt
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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
Greg Behrendt
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Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
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Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
Greg Behrendt
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One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life is that sometimes relationship just end, often without reason. I truly believe that sometimes both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning
Greg Behrendt
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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
Greg Behrendt
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The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
Greg Behrendt
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Always be classy. Never be crazy.
Greg Behrendt
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Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
Greg Behrendt