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It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
Time
Like
People
Foster
Insects
Pretending
Stop
Things

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If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
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Don't waste the pretty
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The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.
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I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
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Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
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Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
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Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It's easy to confuse love with fear.
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For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.
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Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
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You are not easily forgotten.
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My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.
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Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
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Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
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People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
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The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
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Send her a quick note while you`re stuck in a long meeting. A lighthearted chat definitely makes the time go faster.
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There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any real interaction over text. In the buffet of communication, text messaging should be a side dish, not the entree.
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As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
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We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.
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