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There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.

Greg Behrendt

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Greg Behrendt
Age: 61
Born: 1963
Born: July 21
Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
San Francisco County
California
Gregory Behrendt
World
Creme
Dude
Kinda
Rope
Eye
Use
Three
Men

More quotes by Greg Behrendt

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Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.
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Don't waste the pretty
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So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.
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If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
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I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
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The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.
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You are not easily forgotten.
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You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
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Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
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..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.
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If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.
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An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.
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Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
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As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
Greg Behrendt
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...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
Greg Behrendt
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Having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex.
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Always be classy. Never be crazy.
Greg Behrendt
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Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It's easy to confuse love with fear.
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Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.
Greg Behrendt
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For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.
Greg Behrendt